"It wounded me deeply that my father was patently uninterested in me. It made me feel ugly, stupid and worthless. I entered adulthood clueless about what it meant to be a man. I pretty much just made it up as I went along. In many respects I’m still doing that today. Eventually I became a father myself; it’s not been easy figuring that out either. For many years I cringed when people referred to God as 'Father.' Inside I was thinking, 'Not interested!'
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Happy Father’s Day!
Maybe it’s not so 'happy' for you. Perhaps you’re one of those people who will play the charade of giving a gift, sending a card, or making a phone call out of obligation or guilt. Maybe you carry deep wounds from your relationship (or lack thereof) with your father. Perhaps you’ve suffered from the disapproval, rejection, absence or abandonment of your father. Maybe you will try to drum up some positive demeanor toward your dad on Father’s Day even though you really feel nothing at all."
i've been through that whole spectrum of father's days. and still, nearly two years after the last time my father spoke to me, i grieve the loss. and although i have since realized that the man i miss never existed in the way that i used to see him, i still feel his absence keenly.
but rather than make today about what i do not have, what i have lost, i am choosing to focus on the ways in which God has made up for my dad's absence, specifically the outstanding mentors and steely-eyed missile men He has allowed me to encounter on my journey.
happy father's day to dr. john vitale, who has had a greater influence on who i am today than any man i know. for giving me the gift of unfailingly wise counsel, and a love of ancient and sacred stories, wherever they may be.
happy father's day to mark swezey, who has given countless young people the gift of his passion for the theatre. at first, i was frankly terrified of him. but ten years later, i know him to have one of the biggest hearts of anyone i know.
happy father's day to alan shorter, one of the kindest people i have ever met. although he has no children of his own, there are doubtless hundreds if not thousands who consider him family, as i do.
happy father's day to chamblee ferguson, who i wished was my own dad from the first moment i met him.
happy father's day to wayne wetzel, whose constantly smiling face and warm laugh make me feel at home no matter where i am.
happy father's day to jay nicholson, The Godfather, and inexplicably devout razorbacks fan (sorry jay, couldn't resist). at every one of his daughter's weddings, i will raise a glass and offer up the words "...and may your first child be a masculine child."
happy father's day to george satterlee, the original iron man in every sense of the word.
happy father's day to rod hipp, proof that immeasurable strength and true gentleness can go hand in hand.
happy father's day to rick butin, tom busch, joe brown, and bob neihart, because being the father of a BDNA is every bit as impressive as being one yourself.
happy father's day to ned fleming, who, without a second thought, has done for me no less than what any man would do for his own children. he showed me that an absent father will hold you down only if you let it.
happy father's day to paul engler, whose friendship is one of the greatest gifts i have ever received. he is wise, he is funny, he is a man of so much integrity that his manute bol-like frame can barely contain it. if you ever need to talk about life over a red stripe beer, he's your man. and on a daily basis, he gives his two sons the greatest gift any father can give. he loves their mother (an amazing woman in her own right), utterly selflessly.
happy father's day to harry brooks parker. when i think about the foot we got off on, i can only laugh because today he is a man i would walk through fire for. to be as good at his job as he is, and as good a father as he is, is nothing short of miraculous. the world is big enough that i can imagine there must be someone who is as good at these things as harry is, but i cannot imagine that there is one who is better.
happy father's day to russell rice, who i can't really even talk about without getting teary-eyed. during the worst and darkest days of my life, russell rice took me to fuzzy's tacos once a week for lunch where he gave me the gift of his wisdom, insight, and thirst for knowledge of God. he was a life preserver, and remains proof of God's unfailing mercy in my life.
happy father's day to bob otsuka and todd arterburn, who i feel have been a part of our family forever. they are wise, they are brave, they give without hesitation and without any thought of what they might receive in return. and to top it all off, they are a whole hell of a lot of fun.
happy father's day to glenn forristall; the leader, protector, provider, and unapologetically tender heart of our mighty pack. he lived the life of a salesman, but departed from arthur miller's script by creating his own happy ending. he's not just liked, he's not even just well-liked, he is beloved and before it's all said and done, attention will be paid. i love you, granddad.
these are all the poor words my very full heart can muster in praise of this remarkable collection of men. i miss them all every day and carry the lessons i've learned from them everywhere i go. i thank God for using them to help restore what was lost.
my father is gone, never to return. nothing will ever replace that loss. but how can i live in mourning when i think about these outstanding dads, husbands, and leaders among men who i am fortunate enough to call friends? one by one, and each in his own way, they have picked me up, dusted me off, placed a hand firmly on my shoulder, and led me on. where in the past i had only known opportunistic and self-serving love, they gave it to me unconditionally.
one day, i am sure my children will ask me about my father. i will say to them, "my children, i am luckier than you. for i have many fathers."
